Holy McJesus! Christmas in a backwoods town is an incredible bonanza of gossip, drama, and illegal substances. My favorite experience is the Christmas Eve church service communion. The social pressure is so thick that you could harvest it with a net and put it in a butterfly jar. Everyone, and their family, is paraded in their Sunday best before the whole community. Children are worn like trophies, and jewelry is flaunted like set of fake breasts. And after asking for forgiveness for our sins by symbolically eating stale crackers and grape juice, everyone goes to one of three or four get-togethers and gets hammered and tells racist, dirty jokes (or argues violently about college football)
Anyways, now that I have internet back at my finger tips I wanted to share this holiday email from my friend who just left for
> I hate it when people forward bogus warnings...but this one is
> real, and it's important. So please send this warning to
> everyone on your e-mail list.
> If someone comes to your front door saying they are conducting a
> survey on deer ticks and asks you to take your clothes off and
> dance around with your arms up,
> DO NOT DO IT!! IT IS A SCAM;
> they only want to see you naked.
>
> I wish I'd gotten this email yesterday.? I feel so stupid.
>
> Pass this along to your friends and loved ones before it's too late.
No comments:
Post a Comment