Democrats Push For Gun Legislation

In the wake of the Cheney hunting fiasco, top Democratic leaders have authored a bill that would make it illegal for members of congress and the executive to shoot guns.

"We have a responsibility to our citizens to protect them from gun-happy politicians who can't tell the difference between a bright orange jacket and a white dove. This is about homeland security," noted Sen. Kerry (D-MA).

2008 Presidential hopeful Sen. George Allen (R-VA) noted, "Sen. Kerry is just mad becuase he looks like a total dork trying to shoot a gun. This wimpy piece of legislation is merely an attempt by Democrats to prevent their manly Republican counterparts from demonstrating their masculinity with hunting photo-ops. If is really about homeland security, then maybe we should prohibit members of the legislative branch from riding bikes too?"

A statement release early Monday by Cheney's staff stated, "This attempt by the liberal devils to take our freedom will not stand. We cannot and will not allow the democratic axis of evil to pry our constitutional rights from our cold dead hands. To ensure the safety of the American public we may have no choice but invade Congress to disarm the filibuster of mass destruction and wiretap every office. These steps will prove to be essential to protect our freedom."

Senator Kennedy (D-MA) was too hungover to comment as this article went to press.