Kevin Costner = Old Dirty Bastard (who can't act)

When I was an undergrad, one of my former roommates was a minor league baseball player. He only lived with us during the offseason and worked at a bouncer at a local bar when he was in town. Often, during nights of extreme intoxication and typical collegiate hijinks, said roommate would entertain us academics with stories from outside the diamond.

One of my favorites was the story of Cal Ripken Jr. and Kevin Costner. As the story goes, Ripken was running through the standard pre-game routine. Something he'd done about 2,400 times by this point. He was just a few hundred games short of one of the most prestigious records in baseball: Lou Gehrig's Ironman record for consecutive games played. After taking his first cycle of batting practice, Ripken was notified by a neighbor that some strange man had just stopped by the house to visit his wife. Suspicious, Ripken notified his manager of the situation, immediately he jumped in his car, and sped to his house 45min away in a cozy little Baltimore suburb.

In a panic, the Orioles organization begins to stall and delay the game by thrusting the the singing of America the Beautiful and the Canadian national anthem on that evenings Star Spangeled Banner performer in order to ensure that Ripken is back in time for the games start.

When Ripken gets to his home he finds his wife in the arms of none other than Kevin Costner. Ripken proceeds to beat the living shit out of Costner, gets back in his car, and speeds back to the stadium to start the game (which ended up being delayed by about 30 min).

Now how much of this is actually true or not is up for debate. But either way, it was always fun to hear my friend tell it (he also had a great one about Mike Piazza and Alyssa Milano).

At any rate, saw this article about Costner today and figured it only made the Ripken story all the more feasible.

...On his fucking honeymoon! What a dirty bastard.

Good luck to everyone during finals. If anyone has Wellborn evidence tips/outlines, I'm willing to barter.

Feeling Gassy?

Here's a useful link to monitor the gas epidemic.

The Half Your Age +7 Rule

So I'm in Pac-10 Country right now rubbing shoulders with suits managing billion dollar VC portfolios in hopes that someone will throw me some cash so I can be my own boss and not have to give in (er..at least as much) to The Man.

While mingling I've learned some very interesting things. First and foremost is the "half your age +7" rule which states that men are not allowed to date women who are younger than half their age plus seven. So if your a 50 year old silver fox, any lady friends under the age of 32 offically qualifies you as sketchy. Good to know...

Alright, so I'm way too tired and stressed to tell you more so here is some shit to read:

1.) I endorse this as my stance on the War in Iraq

2.) Texans should take Bush, but Young is so damn tempting.

3.) An impressive, but sexually graphic Simpson's impression. (not quite as good as lion porn)

Fitting Finish

So as I spend my sober waking life working on my Campaign project, its only fitting that the Westwing comes to its election conclusion. Still two or three episodes remain. Tonight's episode included a nice rendition of "Deep In The Heart Of Texas" and a "Hook 'Em Horns" as Matt Santos won his crucial home state. But I won't spoil the ending. Instead drudge did that by spoiling the result of the election in his linked headline regarding this NYT article approx. 45 min before air time. The article is a spoiler as well, you've been warned.

Also, while doing what I like to call "rabbit hole research" I found this Washington Post article on The Music Caucus. What would the 500 most influential onion makers in Washington listen to if they were stranded on an island? Click Here.

Astro's are swinging the bat, Rocket's are heading for the lottery (pass the crow), and the Texan's are salivating about Reggie Bush.

Music keeping me going during hell week: American Edit, DSO, new Ghostface Killah, and Allman Brothers bootlegs.

Country Music and Drunk Driving...a Lethal Combo

I really just don't want to do any work, so I surf and find shit like this.

Joe Jamail Gets 'Er Done

So I've heard dones of stories about Joe Jamail. I heard he took the bar as a 2L, studied the night before, passed by one point, and was quoted as saying he studied too hard 'cause he had a point to spare. It is for this reason that Joe Jamail's name is on everything around campus. It won't belong before we are all alums of the "Joe Jamail's University of Texas."

At any rate, Joe is old school. No fancy google searching to find information. No video conferencing. And no email. Today, old school meets the internet age. I present you with Joe Jamail does Deposition:



I love this YouTube embedding shit.

As The World Turns

Man its been a while. Sorry for the hiatus.

First things first. I owe an apology to Divisadero for underestimating his UCLA Bruins and the Pac-10. Tomorrow my shirt will read, "I eat crow and like it." I, however, will not be watching tomorrow's championship game. Both Final 4 games on Saturday night sucked harder than "Dumb and Dumberer." I've already moved on to next years college football season (Spring Game was this weekend) and...most importantly BASEBALL!!!

Tomorrow (actually later today), I will wake up to watch the Texas Rangers take on the Boston RedSox and take part in my "main" fantasy draft (an annual tradition, only this year no class on monday so I don't have to skip anything). Several players I'm anchoring this seasons fantasy fortunes on:
1.) Jonny Gomes -- OF --TB
2.) Ervin Sanatna -- SP -- LAA
3.) Curtis Granderson -- OF -- DET
4.) Jorge Cantu -- 2B/3B -- TB

Tampa Bay has a whole-lot-o-offense this season. They'll be buried down at the bottom of their division thanks to their pitching, but they'll be hitting this season.

As for the Astros: After last season the offense can't get worse. The addition of Preston Wilson and a full season of Lance Berkman bodes well for an improved offensive campaign this season. Unfortunately, after last season, the pitching can only get worse. With Clemens in limbo/retirement, the pitching staff has a solid foundation with Pettite and staff Ace Roy Oswalt. Backe makes a decent 3, but the 4 and 5 spots are gonna be a carosel (Wandy-Rod starting @ the 4 and probably Bucholtz, Hernandez, or Estacio getting the 5 to start) until someone breaks through. If Pettite or Oswalt get injured and the offense isn't markedly improved, it could be a long season with the Brewers being the next best team in the division (The Cards are far and away the best on paper in the central).

Alright, I've got mad group projects and meetings. I'm logging rediculous hours now, hence the 4:15AM posting (what time is it???). It'll be a while 'til I post again...unless I start going insane (wholly in the realm of possibilities)

Ok, final notes:

• See V For Vendetta
• New Ghostface Killah is fantastic
• The tonight's Westwing and Grey's Anatomy were fantastic.

And for tonights grand finale: