Fire Millen!!!

Northwestern has 2, count 'em TWO, defensive Touchdowns in the first half. Unbelievable! Their D is ranked like 117 out of 117 D-I teams this season.

The Rockets have been plagued by injury and inconsistency and are quickly becoming irrelevant.

The Astros have done better this offseason than they did last offseason. And in both offseasons, they didn't really add anyone (Roger doesn't count). They've just lost less this year (and again, Roger doesn't count).

The Texans have managed to have such a shitty season that I've now become excited for a game between two teams with a combined win total of 5. The Best-Wurst Bowl. It also comes with Reggie Bush as a trophy.

In Detriot they are on the verge a French-like riot. Fans have started taking pictures of their newborn babies with signs that say "Fire Millen!" in their cribs. They are picketing outside of games wearing the opponents jersey. I like what Bill Simmons suggested: Millen should stay and draft another receiver.

Ok, UCLA has come storming back. The world is at equilibrium again.

Holiday Hangover

Holy McJesus! Christmas in a backwoods town is an incredible bonanza of gossip, drama, and illegal substances. My favorite experience is the Christmas Eve church service communion. The social pressure is so thick that you could harvest it with a net and put it in a butterfly jar. Everyone, and their family, is paraded in their Sunday best before the whole community. Children are worn like trophies, and jewelry is flaunted like set of fake breasts. And after asking for forgiveness for our sins by symbolically eating stale crackers and grape juice, everyone goes to one of three or four get-togethers and gets hammered and tells racist, dirty jokes (or argues violently about college football)

Anyways, now that I have internet back at my finger tips I wanted to share this holiday email from my friend who just left for Iraq:

> I hate it when people forward bogus warnings...but this one is
> real, and it's important. So please send this warning to
> everyone on your e-mail list.
> If someone comes to your front door saying they are conducting a
> survey on deer ticks and asks you to take your clothes off and
> dance around with your arms up,
> DO NOT DO IT!! IT IS A SCAM;
> they only want to see you naked.
>
> I wish I'd gotten this email yesterday.? I feel so stupid.
>
> Pass this along to your friends and loved ones before it's too late.

Paradise Vicariously

So I'm in a state of nirvana. Talked to Deliah, finished my last final (the one I was least prepared for, and least motivated for) and finally have a guitar back in my hands instead of a highlighter.

A Westwing marathon after a final is to me what The Christmas Story is to other people during the holidays (minus the fact that its played over, and over, and over again on TNT or USA). But on that note, I wanted to link to this post. This totally blew away my post-final-westwing-jam session. I'm completely sold. Not only does this place have good food, post-card-perfect panorama, and pot; but sounds cool when you tell people where you're going. Its like someplace you would have pretended you were as a little kid.

"Yeah, I'll see in a few weeks. I'm heading to Zanzibar."

Finals be done. People be drinkin'

Happy Holidays

Ok, this is my preemptive last post until after Christmas. I'll be heading home to the boondocks where internet does not yet exist after my final tomorrow. Everyone be safe and enjoy your families. They are only annoying until they are gone.

If anyone wants to join me for New Years, sign up here


Shoutout to Ruth for linking me and Easternair for suggesting me.

How Facebook Defines Normal

Right now I'm watching My Cousin Vinny instead of studying for Graglia. I'm about to shotgun two redbulls and start blasting Manu Chao in order to get the study train rolling.

In the meantime, Facebook released its new "pulse" feature which tracks what everyone else at your school and across the country thinks is cool. In terms of "favorite books," Texas is right on pace with the rest of the country for the top 8 books (with "big brother"[1984] beating out "teen disillusion" [catcher in the rye] as the only difference).

Whats interesting is that "Pride and Prejudice" and "Enders Game" rank 9 & 10 respectively at Texas while "Lord of the Rings" and "The Notebook" are ranked 9 & 10 by the rest of the collegiate community. I give mad props to all Longhorns for keeping Nick Sparks off the top 10, it nearly brought a tear to my eye. And to replace it with "Enders Game"," man I love this school.

In the meantime, "The Notebook" is the number 1 movie on facebook. What the fuck? I though college was meant to educate people? I mean how can a cheezy chick flick movie about love and alzheimer be the number 1 movie amongst college kids? What about Half-Baked? Or Old School (ranked #2)? I'm guessing the women of facebook have an organized effort to get this movie at the top of the list, that and there are more women than men. Texas has Garden State at the top of the list, I guess we all relate to fractured home lives and self medication. I thought it might be the Natalie Portman factor, but Closer was no where on the list.

Fuck, I should be studying. A couple of final things: College Republicans are the #2 organization in the country. Grey's Anatomy is the #2 TV show at Texas, once again, i'm proud of you Texas.

Marissa Tomei totally deserved her Oscar for My Cousin Vinny.

Iron Chef is waaaay better than Graglia's class

A friend sent me a link to this incredible commercial today. I immediately applied for a job at the agency and began shopping for housing in the Rose City. 600 takes, no CGI....but where are they going to air this?

Also, check out this post on BW&V.

Finally, for those politicos who desperately want to discuss the NSA wiretaps instead of study for tests (shamefully raises hand).

I've missed a full sleep cycle. I shall be fucked for Equal Protection law. All is well.

Fuck You George W Bush, I Own The 1st Amendment, bitch!

So for the first time in my law school carreer, I had time to go over and edit my essays in a final. My outline was ideal for the test and procrastinating friend #3 dropped me some tabs to organize 30 min before it started. Things would not have gone so smooth without tabs on that fucking outline. Perfect in content, trainwreck on organization. Classic me (well except that perfect part). Never before had I used tabs so much.

That being said, given the recent breach on civil liberties in this country I naturally began to worry, while studying, about the things I hold dear which may soon be taken from "my cold dead hands" (as Charlie likes to say.) First, naturally is guns. Since Americans are in such terrible danger from "the evil axis" of...people not white, it is safe to assume that guns are next in line. Naturally when someone threatens our freedom, we must fight fire with fire and revoke the freedoms before they can be taken from us. Now that the 5th amendment has been on life support for a while, enough so that its doctrine is flexible enough to simply be manipulated rather than expressly taken, and the the 4th is done, naturally the 2nd amendment is next (wait...you don't actually count the IIIrd as an actual amendment do you? pssha!).

The gov'ts justificiation for all this pruning of procedure and process has consistently been a paternalistic chorus of "We are in danger, we are protecting the American public." Ya know, with a nice reggae beat behind it. Ok, ok. I'll defer to the compelling gov't interest here. But if you, so help me god, take my guns away in the name of American safety, I'll fucking stab you! (ha...ha...denote sarcasim here to avoid secret gov't wire taps)

If they take our guns, we must all band together to protect whats left. No, not speech, Porn! Like a coffee stain tainting the crisp taste of a glass of water, the administration has left its smell all over the stair-truck-like morass that is our insitution of gov't. They pushed Howard Stern into space. They ensured that no 12 year old boy will ever see nipple at half-time of the super-bowl. Before you know it, no Girls Gone Wild infomercials. We as a society CANNOT STAND FOR THIS! As Brandeis so eloquently reasoned, the First Amendment is a safety-valve, sometimes we as a society need it to release some steam to keep it all functioning right. Thus, if you take our porn Mr. Bush, we will revolt.

You may take my racial dignity. You may take my procedual and substantive due process. You may take my civil liberties. I'll fight you for my guns, but in no manner, shape, or form will you take my porn!

Good luck to all who still have finals (I have one) To everyone else let the wine flow like bullshit arguments.

Poverty and Time

Time announced that Bono, Bill, and Melinda Gates are co-Time-People-of-the-Year for their continuing work on fighting poverty and disease throughout the world.

I thought this quote hit the nail on the head:

This is not about pity. It's more about passion. Pity sees suffering and wants to ease the pain; passion sees injustice and wants to settle the score. Pity implores the powerful to pay attention; passion warns them about what will happen if they don't. The risk of pity is that it kills with kindness; the promise of passion is that it builds on the hope that the poor are fully capable of helping themselves if given the chance.

Anyways, back to 1st Amendment.

Gay Cowboy Movies

This friend/person I know wrote about her experience at a screening of "Brokeback Mountain." I thought this quote was great, "Also, I learned that every time two gay men have sex, a sheep dies."

I've heard nothing but good things about this movie. And I really don't have any problem with homosexuality. In fact, I was at a party last night where all the girls were lesbians, or at least bi. It might have been the trashcan punch but I definately had a conversation with a girl I'd never met before about how much she loved this girl Randy who had boyfriend who beat her but who promised said girl she'd leave him and marry her. I'm chalking all that up to alcohol, but she did say she would lick a policeman's asshole if Randy asked her to...I shit you not.

So gayness doesn't bother me. It's not my cup of tea, but it doesn't bother me. Still, I don't know if I can go see this movie without a Hugh Hefner posse of playmates on my arm. I admit, I do want to figure out why a sheep dies everytime men violate George W. Bush's Laws of Man.

Home Stretch

So yesterday I spent the bulk of my library time reading other UT-Law blogs. Ya know, scout the competition, develop more accurate curve expectations. Well none of that really happened but I did find some people who are in the same boat as me.

Ya know I don't regret not going to class or not really giving a rats ass about my grades, but I do regret not knowing more people at the law school. When I really think about it, I can't think of a single 2L I personally know or who might know me. I completely blame that on my ex, but thats a whole different story.

At any rate, no matter how many lawyer jokes there may be, I have met some cool ass people in law school. People I actually respect. Some will go on to do incredible and great things. Some will help people do not so great things.

Either way, to those 10%-ers out there this finals home stretch is like sweeps week. We spent an entire semester not going to class, not reading, not hanging out with law students. Only to throw it together at the very last possible moment by living at the place we avoided all semester...and still manage to hit the curve.

14 hour days in the library. More coffee than columbia. Laps around the library to get the blood flowing. Not seeing day light. No human to human interaction b/c you're living in your secret study place in the library. To you 10%-ers, I salute you.

Tonite was Cold and Ominous

So Con Law II with Lino G. is closed book. This is good and bad. It really depends on how much I can remember. Econ for Rich People may ultimately be a GPA booster. And my knowledge of the First Amendment may turn out pretty well.

Instead of really studying, I've been doing Facebook sociological studies. In the world of UT-groups there are many dichotomous sects. There's "Blondes Have More Fun"/"Friends Don't Let Friends Hookup With Blondes" or "Girlfriends Against Halo" and "Boyfriends Against Girlfriends Against Halo". And my Favorite: "Nice Guys Finish Last" v. "Nice Guy Shouldn't Finish Last".

"Nice Guys Finish Last" has exactly 3 members. "Nice Guys Shouldn't Finish Last" has 1133 members. At first was I shocked. Then I rationalized. I figure not nice Guys don't get on the internet much. Otherwise I feel like this one would be about 50/50 in the real world. What struck me next was that there wasn't a nice guy finish first or Jackasses Finish Last, but instead only Nice Guys Shouldn't Finish Last.

So while they may deserve to finish first they do in fact finish last...but they shouldn't. Life isn't fair. Representative Democracy isn't fair. The legal system isn't fair. The BCS system isn't fair...though debating whether it was more fair than the other two would be a great conversation for jager-shot kinda night.

Regardless the fact of the matter is that nice guys don't finish first. They do often come in second; and, if NASCAR is any indication, there are some spheres of the world where a consecutive run of 2nds can often net you an overall victory. In fact, a wise man once said nice guys get the short end until they get the best end. So nice guys finish last until they can learn to be a jackass enough to finish first. Which is why nice guys are on the internet looking for chicks.

In other news, a man who'd been dating a women on the internet finally met her and found out it was his mom. How fucked up is that?

Biggie v. 2Pac

Here is a great article on East/West coast media biases. Simple fact of the matter. The BCS is bullshit. USC/Texas is about as good as they gets. I don't know how that reconciles.

Pot, Politics, and Powers

So in order for Kinky Friedman to get on the ballot in Texas, he needs 50,000 votes...from people who haven't voted in a primary for one of the two big parties. Even playing field, not even close.
The fact that both parties will need to fully maximize important message making opportunities during the primaries in order to win the governorship means that both primaries will be heated.

The republicans have two main candidates. Incumbent Gov. Rick Perry who has managed to bumble along and leave the door wide open for "mean-ass-grandma" Carole Strayhorn. The Democrats race was a bit less heated battle between 1:1 favorite Chris Bell from Houston and issue pusher Felix Alvarado. Now a third hat has been tossed into the ring. Former Texas Supreme Court Justice Bob Gammage is expected to announce. Whether he can raise enough money to really do anything remains to be seen, but at the very least he's gonna make it more difficult for Kinky.

Speaking of politics, the soon to be president of The University of Texas and current Dean of the Law School is leaving a prime and powerful position open. While law professors in general would probably contend they are above the politics of jockeying for such a lofty position, but honestly, thats bullshit. Some may play dirtier than others, but they are playing the chess pieces. The better questions are whether this is gonna be a man or a woman, from inside or outside, from the north or the south, etc. etc. I remembering hearing that Linda "The Multiple Choice Test" Mullinex was runner up to Dean Powers last time around.

Finally, this is just sad. I saw this on the news. The pictures just make the words all that more crushing. Looking at this through my finance class lens. This is gonna gonna shake up the market. Prolly bring some Katrina-like price gouging from the more entreprenurial pot dealers. Great quote though, "It's like the difference between beer and wine."

Saturday's Musings

My friend sent me this away message from one of his friends on IM:

10:15 am - bought a $1400 bass amp

11:30 am - went to band practice to use new amp

11:35 am - started running through "Iron Man" by Black Sabbath

11:37 am - brand new bass amp started spitting smoke and blew up.

Listen to more Black Sabbath


Priceless. I think that as finals roll around, away messages increase in quality.

Anyways, Texas and USC won easily today meaning that it's pretty much gonna be impossible for me to go to the game. As my roommate eloquently explained it, tickets aren't gonna be hard to find, they'll just be expensive. Theres a lot of Texas fans rabid with school spirit that will be proscribed to this way of thinking. Combine that with USC playing in their own (kinda) hometown and you've got a market that has RoseBowl officals jizzing with glee at every turn of a corner. So, I can't afford to go to the RoseBowl, but thats ok. Austin is gonna be one helluva place to be when they win.

As big a fan as I am of Vince Young, Reggie Bush should hands down win the Heisman after his performance on Saturday. Vince was great, but Bush was show-stopping. Had Vince done something incredible against A&M, maybe. But its gotta go to Bush.

Also, the best basketball team in Houston is not the Rockets, its the Houston Cougars. At half, they lead 'Zona by a deuce but lemme tell ya, they look good.

That is all.

A 3Ls guide to the 5th floor of the Law Library

First and foremost, not all water fountains are created equal. This may work for "man" but it don't apply to water fountains. I personally go for temperature and crispness in flavor as a gauge, but to each his own.

The fountain on the first floor by the Tom Clark lounge, nestled b/w the mens and womens restroom is the epitome of perfection as far as the law school goes. Now within the confines of the library I can really only speak to quality of the fountains on the 5th floor. The fountain by the Northside (read: Dean K. windows) restrooms is undoubtedly at the bottom of the list. The water is tepid at best and has hints of metal aftertaste. If you are a complete and total nerd, and abide by the "crows-fly" theory of efficient studying so as to maximize your time at the books and are married to the northie-cubicles; then, at least visit the fountain attached to the eastside of the elevator wells. Much better taste and much better temperature, and carries the added bonus of being the most distracting to other students, which means less studying for them and better grades for you.

Otherwise, you Northsiders (or as I like to call them, "cubbies") should trekk to the prestigious fountain on the southside ("'tha southsider"). Best temp and taste and is also the most private. This added perk provides opportunity to readjust undergarments, check voicemail, scratch unmentionables, etc.

Thats all for now folks, more updates to follow including an exclusive report on bathroom graffiti (mens only for now), prime cubicle location, and 5th floor etiquette.