King of the Damned in the Land of the Lost

So this weekend marked the culmination of many things, including the final and triumphant march for many (now former) college students. This means road trip. The unlucky destination: Houston, Tx.
I have several friends in medical school who, like me, disrespected their bodies and regular sleep schedules to rake their brilliant (theirs, not mine) minds across important test that will (someday, hopefully) help them save our lives. With the completion of finals, alcohol was clearly in order.

So I arrive in Houston with a gang of future surgeons and proctologists waiting on me. We eat, and then proceed to completely sucker punch any brain cells that refused to work the week prior with shots of our good friend Jager. This led to conversations about boobs, blowjobs, med students, and lung cancer (damn med students). [On a side note: I met a girl who owned what have to be the largest natural pair of boobies on a girl not the size of a hefer and from Lubbock, Tx. From the brief hours I got to spend with her she actually did have a wonderfully sweet and honest soul behind her love mountains. She was truly fascinating and incredibly down to earth. So for any Red(neck) raiders who may be fortunate enough to bump into her: there is more than meets the eye...though there's plenty of that too.]

So after nearly a dozen shots, a viewing of "Napoleon Dynamite," and a failed attempt to make out with my first ever Indian girl Friday night came to an end.

Saturday was essentially "Star Wars" day. We caught an early evening show of the new film after heroically battling what was the most passive yet annoying hangover. We of course showed up late enough (i.e. 20 min before the previews started) to not be able to get a seat and were forced to pay extra for tickets to the next showing. By the time we are the show actually starts we'd been sitting patiently for about an hour, assuring us that none of the entertainment enhancers we'd experimented with would be working effectively by the time the movie started.

Regardless, the movie was fantastic. Let me preface: I am not a Star Wars fan/freak/nerd. In fact, while I had seen all the previous movies, I couldn't tell much about them, especially the older ones. That being said, this movie was much easier to watch than the last two (episodes I & II) primarily becuase Hayden "overacts" Christensen is a much better villian than hero. Also, there is more action and less dialouge in this movie which translates into less directing flaws at the hands of George Lucas. I think Playboy put it best when describing Mr. Lucas: he's a movie making God, but unlike Spielberg and Coppola, he can't direct. In other words, Lucas is a helluva a "world creator" but he can't coax honest acting out of a virgin porn star. Episodes V & VI are clearly the best two in the Star Wars saga, and thats becuase the movie is directed by someone other than Lucas, but the world that the movie is directed in is created by him. Lucas's contributions to soundFX, visualFX, digitalFX, and entertainmentFX are why he is famous, not becuase he can make the dialouge b/w Anakin and Padme feel real.

The drama and action in the movie are top notch, and if anything else, it will make you want to watch what happens next, which, in the real world, technically happened first. In fact, thats what I spent the rest of saturday and much of sunday doing: watching episodes IV, V, and VI; which, in sum total, have made me really appreciate the philosophical, mythological, and epic aspects of Lucas's story line. The battle b/w the dark and the light will always ring true, we've seen it in the Bible, the great works of Homer, Beowulf, Ulysses, and now, in fully glory, Star Wars. Hey, did I tell you about those boobs I saw this weekend?

Oh, and the Astros got swept. Fucking A!

p.s. to those who's graduations I miss, I was honestly thinking about you all night, I swear!